VBS

Tomorrow is the last day of VBS. Even though it's been challenging, I'm enjoying almost every minute of it. The kids seem to be getting a lot out of it. It's a blessing to be able to do this. I thank God for all the great help that has been provided to us.

Another Update

I decided not to get the Cavalier. But I am going to talk to Terry Lynn (He works at Uebelhor in Vincennes.) about looking for a car for me. So eventually I will have something new. It partly depends on how much of a refund I get from VU this semester. Just letting everyone know how things are going on the car front.

Car Update

Uhh... so I have to decide my tomorrow if I want the Cavalier or not. They're selling it on the auction block if I don't. But they came down to dad's price. I really don't know what to do. Pray for my discernment in this situation.

New Car?

Well, news is getting around that I'm getting a new car. I might be. Depends on how much they want for it for one thing. And I'm having second thoughts about giving my car up. The car we're looking at (yellow Cavalier at Mackey's) is in great condition, gets pretty good mileage, has air (something I've never had before), good tires, etc. A good car all around. But it's just not my car. I just finally became ready to settle for a car that isn't a Cobalt (my dream car that someday I will have). And I'm kind of worried about my car making through the winter. But I think I've changed my mind and want to keep my car. My parents don't really have the money to help me with car payments for one. I don't really have the money to make car payments myself. I'm kind of praying they won't come down enough and that it will be better for us to wait. I know it's only a car, but please pray that everything works out ok. (Hopefully that's me keeping my car.)

Confessions of a tired heart...

You think your safe. You won't get hurt here. You trust everyone (or at least almost everyone) around you. Yet this is the place you get hurt the most often. At least it's been that way for me lately. Every time I'm at church lately I feel left out, neglected, unimportant, pushed aside, and the list goes on. Usually by the people I trust most and am closest to. It's been making me really not want to go. I hate that because I know that I should be excited about being at church and worshiping and fellowshipping with friends. Lately I haven't had my heart in it. I go because it's the right thing do to. I sing the songs knowing that I don't really mean what I'm singing much of the time. I listen to the message, Bible study, lesson, etc and do my best not to criticize in my head and to focus on hearing what God wants me to hear. It's like I'm going through the motions and not much else.

I'm worried about the Women of Faith trip. I'll be the youngest going and only know about maybe half of the people going. I'm afraid I'm going to be left out because I don't have a clique to be with. Most people going already have their group. I don't want to be alone. I'm nervous. I know I used to get this way about trips like this in high school. At least then I had people around my own age. And usually I had Mac or someone I was close to and could be with even if there was no one else. Now I feel like it's just me against the world...

A Day with the Kids

Tali and Zach came over to swim today. =) It was lots of fun. The two of them and Haley, Zayin, and Hayden. Kinda chaotic. We had fun. Hayden and I got out first leaving Ben to deal with everyone else. I felt kinda bad but Hayden was freezing so I had to do something. To entertain them for a while Ben and I tried to teach them how to play Justice League (xbox game). They were even worse than me when I started and that's saying something. They had fun though and that's what's important. We fed them all pizza rolls for lunch. Thankfully no big messes or anything. We took Tali and Zach home when Ben headed to work. We ended up spending some time at their house for a bit before I dropped him off and got my check. Although the kids were kind of rambunctious and annoying at times, it was great. I love those kids. All of them. Even if I feel like strangling them at times. =)

Out of Place

Sometimes you just feel left out. Not because people are trying to leave you out. Just because it's one of those days. Tonight was one of those. After Ben and I left church, things seemed to keep going down hill. Thankfully everything was worked out by the time we went to sleep. I just hate those moments. When you feel so completely out of place. Lost, useless, unimportant. It's so hard to talk yourself out of that. To convince yourself that that is not true.

Sorry for such a pouty post. Just my feelings...

Movie

Last night Ben and I ventured into scary territory. We took my niece and two nephews to see WALL-E. They were so wound up before the movie. Going quite nuts in the store while waiting on me to finish counting my drawer. The ride down wasn't much better. Thankfully they were really good during the movie. All of us enjoyed it. Yay! Haley was picked up by Andrea after to head to their cake decorating class, and Ben and I took the boys for ice cream before supper.