Wedding Woes

Ben and I set a tentative date of August 2011. Yes, I do realize that is two whole years plus a little from now. You might be wondering why the plan is to wait so long after already being together for four years already. The following are some/most of the reasons:

1. I will be done with college (for the first time at least) at this point as will Ben. Hopefully he will have what so many of us like to call a "real" job at this time aka full time.

2. Many years ago I told my dad that I would wait until I was done with college to get married. (It is somewhat important to point out that when I did this, I didn't think I would find "the one" until college or later so it was no big deal.)

3. I'm worried that if we didn't wait until I was done that my grades might slip. Plus I would be doing my student teaching while married (though I've heard that it's way worse if you do it while planning a wedding...).

4. We currently do not have the resources to get a place of our own place. I'm currently hoping to hear from the bank at Sandborn about a part time position which could help partially alleviate this issue.

5. I'm worried about what getting married before I'm done with my bach degree might do to my financial aid. I'm fairly certain it wouldn't affect my val/sal scholarship which covers all tuition, but I don't know what it would do to my federal and state grants.

Recently Ben and I have been discussing moving the wedding up a year. Not only have we both wanted to move it up, but we've had multiple people mention it to us. People have told me that they have confidence in me keeping my grades up. Lynette and I went to Evansville today to take a few dresses to a consignment shop and while we were down there we stopped by David's Bridal to look around. I ended up trying on a couple a dresses and fell in love with one of them. This did not help me lean toward waiting the two years at all.

The thing that is holding me back more than anything else is #2 on that list up there. I promised my dad that I'd wait. It was definitely half-hearted when I did, but it was still a promise. I know he would be rather mad at me if I didn't wait, but at the same time, it is my decision. Mine and Ben's. Not my parents. Not his parents. Not friends. Ours.

Another biggie is #4 - the money issue. Being at home and not on my own, I really don't have to worry about money that much. I've been trying to save and help out some since I got the job at the store my junior year, but still, the only bill I'm paying is my car insurance. I also pay for my own gas and any little extras I want, but I'm not paying electric, telephone or internet bills. I'm not making car or house payments. I don't have to pay for my own health insurance. Once we get hitched, those will be things I have to worry about and until at least one of us has a good paying job, we won't be able to pay for those things.

I know if we only waited until next August, I would have time to come down off of the marriage/honeymoon high before classes started up again (more time than if we waited two years and I had a job teaching at a high school). It would only be one year and I know Ben would support me. Recently I've been thinking that instead of my grades dropping, they might actually get better or at least remain at the relatively high standard I've put for myself already. I might push myself more since I wouldn't be at home and relying a lot on my parents.

Dear friends, what I'm asking for from you more than anything else is prayer about all of this. Ben and I really want to make the right decision. We don't want to make a hasty decision, so we're giving it lots of thought and prayer.

<3 Nicole