Poking, Prodding, and Pushing

God's been doing all three of those things to me a lot for the past couple of weeks even more than usual. He's calling me to do some things outside of my comfort zone. He's led me to make two apologies in the last few days that were long overdue. He's had me talk to people face to face that I don't know that well about helping with activities in the church. He's been pushing me to pray for those I have grudges against and to treat them with love and kindness.

All of these things are really hard for me, but I'm seeing the benefits already. God is blessing me for it already. I pray that God continues to push me even if I may complain from time to time. I pray that he offers me more opportunities to grow in Him. I pray that he helps me to have a faith that is not dead but that is alive and active. That my faith will be full of actions. That I will be set apart from the world and people will be able to look at me and say, "There's something different about her and I want to know what it is." I pray that I will be a shining light in this world of darkness for Christ. I ask these not just for myself but all those around me, all those in this world who are seeking after You so that we might show the world how amazing You are!

Word of God Speak

I'm in the computer lab in McCormick working on a physics formal lab report and need a distraction from the noise of those around me. I popped out my oh so comfy and noise blocking earbuds and tuned in to Pandora (This is a free radio thingy online. You can create your own station by choosing a genre, artist, or song. It's really great and you should check it out if you haven't used it before. Go now. Or after you finish reading this post. But do it!). The first song that came up was Word of God Speak by MercyMe. I've listened to it before multiple times, but it really hit me today.

With the Bible study on my heart it really spoke to me. I know I'm not in the Word as much as I should be. I was doing pretty good for a little while and then homework started piling up again and it took precedent over what should come first. I admit that I was wrong and I know better, but I don't always do what I know I should.

My prayer today is that His Word pores down on me. That it drowns me in Him. That I will put Him first so that all else may fall into place. I pray for time each day to spend in the silence with nothing but Him and His Word. I pray for a continual desire to do so. I pray that those around me feel this desire, this urge, this fire within as well.

Here's a link to a youtube video of the song and the lyrics are below. Enjoy!


I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

Step of Faith

I believe all or at least most of you who read my blog know that I've been praying for William a lot and that I'm worried about Him. I've been feeling a tug to talk to him since before the Flight but I couldn't figure what to say, when to say it, how to say it, etc. I just finished writing a letter to him (written by hand and soon to be mailed with a real stamp *gasp*). I'm asking for prayer that he receives the words and the Truth in it with an open and willing heart. I pray that the words in it are not my own, but that they are His and that William realizes this. I poured a lot of myself out to him. I pray that he doesn't use these confessions against me at some point. I pray for him. I pray for His will in this situation. Thanks everyone.

Why Me?

I wanted to write this Saturday, but well... life gets in the way. Then yesterday I really felt like writing that and didn't feel it was the time to also lump this one on. So, two days later, here is this post.

"Lord, why me? Why did you tell her this is what I'm supposed to do? Why did you tell me to answer yes when she asked me? I am about the worst person ever when it comes to praying and yet you tell her that's what I'm supposed to do? Are you nuts? I'll do it and I'll really try my best, but seriously, are you sure you didn't get the wrong girl? Maybe some other girl named Nicole. Maybe that's who you meant. And are you really sure I'm supposed to be talking to these girls about discipleship, showing people love, and bringing people to Christ? What's so great that I've ever done? What stories do I have to tell? I felt when I was asked that I was supposed to say yes, but now I'm wondering if I really was supposed to. Like I said, I'll do it and I'll pray about it, but not really sure what I've got to offer."

These were pretty much my thoughts Saturday. In one respect I know I'm supposed to be doing these things, but in another, I wonder why oh why He chose me. I guess I'm writing this in hopes that you (ie any and every one who reads this) will give a little shout out in your prayers for me. I'm not really sure what's going on with me right now other than the Lord working in me. I'm feeling some convictions more than others and they hurt. At the same time though, He's able to point out some of the good and say "Look at what you've done for Me. Look at what you can do for Me. Look at all the people you have around you who love you and pray for you and would do/ do do (tee hee... do do) so much for you." I am so amazed at what a wonderful, loving, forgiving, father He is and I praise Him for it. =)